Have you ever had the feeling that no matter how well you explain, some people on your team still do not understand what they have to do? Sometimes, even though you are doing your job flawlessly, something is missing from your team. You want to see a little more involvement, a little more motivation, or a real desire to contribute. This does not mean that you’re a bad manager. It just means that the world has changed, and the role of the manager has changed with it.
Nowadays, managers need the ability to develop people, to guide them to think strategically so that they can manage their own internal and external challenges and contribute to the company’s success without being told what to do at every step.
This is where the manager-coach comes in. They no longer leads through authority and control, but through clarity, trust, and powerful questions. Here is why this transformation from manager to manager-coach is no longer just an option, it is a necessity.
What do you do when your management style no longer works?
Let’s be honest, there are still too many managers who lead like construction site managers from the 90s. That is, through authority imposed from the top down. The problem is that the new generations no longer like this recipe.
If we do not learn how to be catalysts of development, not just inspectors of productivity, we will quickly find ourselves with a demotivated team, increased turnover and, ironically, low performance.
Managers who lack coaching skills frequently encounter:
• Difficult conversations avoided until the team explodes or implodes.
• Employees who demand “ready-made solutions” without “taking the time” to think deeply.
• Feedback given only formally and that does not change anything real.
• The frustrating feeling that “I’ve told them 10 times and they still don’t understand.”
If you have found yourself in any of these situations, you are not alone. The good news is you also have an upgrade option.
What does it mean to be a manager-coach?
A manager-coach supports his team through questions, active listening and clear guidance towards discovering their own potential. He does not control, but creates space for conscious thinking and communication.
He does not solve everything, but develops the team's ability to solve it on its own. More importantly, he does not rely only on instinct, but on tested and immediately applicable coaching tools.
In addition, he provides constructive feedback, stimulates reflection and cultivates trust within the team. He approaches challenges as learning opportunities and treats each interaction as a moment of development, not just operational communication. Thus, the manager-coach contributes to increasing the performance and professional maturity of each team member, facilitating their vertical development.
The seven skills of the manager-coach
The transformation from manager to manager-coach is mainly about recalibrating the mindset on the role and using concrete coaching tools. Here are the main skills that make the difference:
1. Focus on active listening
Active listening does not mean waiting for the moment when you can speak. It means being there, present, without a hidden agenda, without preparing your mental response before the interlocutor finishes the sentence.
Asking: “What have you already tried?” instead of “Why didn’t you do what I said?”. It is the difference between control and trust, between automatic reaction and conscious presence.
In teams, active listening creates psychological safety and encourages the expression of ideas, even unfinished ones.
2. Asking powerful questions
A manager-coach does not provide all the answers. He asks questions that force thinking, that change perspective or open new paths of reflection.
Instead of “what’s the problem?” ask: “what would you like to be different?”, “what else is possible here?” or “how would you approach it if you weren’t afraid of making mistakes?”.
Powerful questions are not invasive, but provocative in a good way. They build self-confidence and stimulate real learning, not just task execution.
3. Clarifying goals
A manager-coach knows that performance starts with well-defined goals. He doesn’t talk in generalities, but helps people define concrete, measurable, relevant and committed goals.
The ACHIEVE model, explained below, is an excellent ally here, because it provides a clear structure in the process of setting and refining goals.
Clarification is not just “what do we want to achieve”, but also “why is it important”, “what does success look like” and “what are the concrete steps to get there”. Without clear goals, coaching becomes just a friendly conversation.
4. Taking on difficult conversations
A manager-coach does not avoid tension, but knows how to manage it with empathy and firmness. Difficult conversations, about poor performance, toxic behaviors or failure to meet commitments, are inevitable. What makes the difference is how they are conducted.
The SCORE model, explained below, provides a conversational map: from observable symptoms to causes, from desired results to available resources.
The manager-coach does not attack, does not judge, but facilitates understanding and taking on. This skill prevents escalations and maintains functional relationships.
5. Guiding towards clear solutions
The manager-coach does not impose solutions, but neither does he remain ambiguous. He guides the process through which the interlocutor generates options, evaluates variants and reaches a clear and feasible decision.
Here, the use of the KISS 2.0 model, explained below, is essential, helping to structure feedback and generate concrete steps.
Guiding towards solutions means leaving room for exploration, but also closing the conversation with a clear plan. It is the fine balance between autonomy and responsibility.
6. Developing autonomy
The manager-coach enjoys when people make good decisions without him. He does not want “big kids” in the office, but professional adults who think critically, act responsibly and take calculated risks.
He knows that autonomy does not mean chaos, but the development of discernment. And yes, sometimes people make mistakes. But these very mistakes are fertile ground for authentic learning.
The manager-coach offers support, but does not interfere unnecessarily. He creates a framework in which initiative is encouraged and errors become lessons, not sins.
7. Creating a framework for reflection
In the end, coaching is not the magic. It is the process of reflection that it encourages. When people reflect on their own decisions, what they have learned and what they can improve, the learning becomes deep and lasting.
The manager-coach creates this framework not only through questions, but also through simple rituals: a question at the end of the meeting, a monthly retrospective session, a moment of introspection in a 1-on-1.
Sustained, guided, encouraged reflection leads to awareness, clarity and performance. It is the difference between going fast and going far.
What does the team gain from this approach? And the manager?
A manager-coach is not “better” than a classic manager is. He is just more appropriate and effective in complex times.
For the team:
• More clarity about roles and responsibilities.
• Real involvement, not just “I do my job and that’s it” conformity.
• Confidence in one’s own ideas and ability to innovate.
• Relevant feedback, not criticism disguised as “constructive remarks.”
For the manager:
• Reducing the team’s dependence on their own decisions. So more time for strategy.
• Increased retention and motivation. People don’t leave teams where they feel they are developing.
• Reputation as a transformational manager, not just a “good performer.”
• Access to top positions, because the future is about influence, not authority.
Why this transition is not done more often?
Because it is hard. Because it is counterintuitive. Because it requires you to let go of the idea that you are the smartest person in the room. Coaching is not about showing off what you know. It is about uncovering what others know, sometimes without even knowing they know it.
Let’s face it: a manager’s ego doesn’t give in easily. Many people get into positions through individual competence, not through the ability to grow people. That’s exactly what stops them from reaching the next level.
Coaching tools to keep handy:
1. The SCORE model
This is a great coaching tool for clarifying a problematic situation. It helps to understand the symptoms (what we see), the causes (what is causing them), the desired outcomes, the resources available, and the effects of the transformation.
It is perfect for conversations with direct reports who come in with “a problem” but do not know how to define it. The SCORE model helps them quickly identify and clarify any difficult situation:
• Symptoms – What is happening now?
• Causes – Why?
• Outcomes – What do you want to achieve?
• Resources – What do you have available?
• Effects – What will change?
Therefore, it is an extremely useful model in meetings with employees who “don’t know what to do anymore”.
2. The ACHIEVE model
A model that helps you move from “I want to solve a problem” to “I have a concrete plan of action”. It is the ideal structure to guide people to set achievable goals, generate options, evaluate and choose with knowledge. In essence, you teach them how to think strategically.
The ACHIEVE model provides a clear map for any coaching discussion:
• Assess – Where are you now?
• Creative brainstorming – What options do you have?
• Hone goals – What is the concrete objective?
• Initiate and evaluate options – What alternatives are viable?
• Valid action plan – What are you doing specifically?
• Encourage progress – How do we maintain progress?
It is the perfect tool for team coaching and 1-on-1 discussions.
3. The KISS 2.0 model
Applicable in any discussion, the KISS model does not complicate things. Do you want to influence? Talk about what works and should be kept (Keep), what needs to be improved (Improve), what needs to be eliminated (Stop), and what needs to be added (Start). Speak simply, clearly, with examples. No jargon, no cosmic metaphors.
This is the KISS 2.0 model, a clear structure for discussions or giving balanced feedback. So, it is not about rigid evaluations or vague compliments, but about:
• Keep – What works and should be kept?
• Improve – What can be adjusted or refined?
• Stop – What behaviors should be eliminated?
• Start – What new actions can contribute to success?
This is another powerful tool for building trust and real learning in teams.
What do you need to do to become a manager-coach?
• Accept that you do not have to have all the answers. Just the right questions.
• Learn the SCORE, KISS, and ACHIEVE models. Don’t memorize them. Practice them.
• Schedule reflection sessions with your people. Once a month, at least.
• Replace “why?” with “what did you learn?” Less accusatory, more productive.
• Be present in conversations. Don’t send emails while “listening.”
• Coach your own bosses too. Ask them how you can support them better.
• Ask for constant feedback. Yes, even if it is uncomfortable. That is how you learn.
The manager of the future is neither authoritarian nor savior. It is a catalyst. If you have ever wondered why some managers create loyalty, good ideas and energy in their teams, while others just tick targets, stress and burnout, well, you already have the answer.
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About Valoria
Valoria is a consulting, training, and executive coaching company. Through our services, we help entrepreneurs to grow their business and make success concrete and predictable. Companies turn to us for marketing, human resources and sales consulting. We often respond to requests for training or coaching of management teams. Competence, trust, innovation and passion are the values we uphold in everything we do. We build long-term partnerships and collaborations, because we offer guaranteed results and the best quality, at the right price. Find out more at: www.valoria.ro.
