On a typical morning, in an office with white walls and lots of colorful post-its, something happens that doesn't appear in reports, but it's felt in the air: someone just said, with a superior smile, "I did my job, but the others...".
Therefore, without realizing it, we entered a dysfunctional but extremely popular organizational dynamic: "I'm good because the others make mistakes."
This form of indirect validation, in which personal value is measured by the failure of others, is no joke. It is a real leadership problem, affecting performance, trust, and organizational culture.
Can it be stopped? Of course, but not with motivational posters or "team building in the woods," but with strategy, organizational psychology, and a dash of healthy irony.
Why does this destructive dynamic arise?
Organizational psychology tells us that people need validation. When the organization does not provide clear performance criteria, consistent feedback, or genuine recognition, employees build their own evaluation systems.
What could be easier than comparing yourself to the colleague who forgot to submit the report on time? Just morning “gossip.”
Defensive social comparison quickly becomes a protection mechanism. It is not how much you contributed, but how little the other person contributed. It is like saying: “I’m a great leader because I’m not like X, who always forgets to update the CRM.”
In teams where this dynamic takes root, clear symptoms appear, such as lack of responsibility, emphasis on the mistakes of others. Success becomes personal, and failure becomes collective. Worse, mistakes are no longer lessons, but ammunition to attack enemies within the team.
How does this dynamic affect organizational culture?
In the short term, this dynamic may seem harmless. A little sarcasm, some passive-aggressive jokes, maybe even an atmosphere of “healthy competitiveness.”
In the long run, the “I’m good because everyone else is wrong” dynamic destroys trust, blocks learning, and turns teams into groups of individuals who are afraid to collaborate.
In a healthy organizational culture, mistakes are discussed, not hidden. Feedback is constructive, not comparative. Performance is clearly defined, not relative. But for this, leaders need to intervene consciously and strategically.
How do you stop this negative dynamic?
a. Pay close attention to team conversations
The first step is to acknowledge it. If you frequently hear comments like “I did my part, but the others…” in meetings, it is a clear sign that the dynamic has settled in comfortably. Don’t ignore it. Don’t cover it up with “let’s be positive.” Confront it gracefully.
b. Redefine what performance means
Don’t leave room for interpretation. If “being proactive” means “coming up with a proposal before it’s asked for,” say so. If “on-time delivery” means “by 5:00 p.m. Wednesday,” write so. When the criteria are clear, comparisons become useless.
c. Turn mistakes into transformative steps
Don’t glorify them, but don’t turn them into public shame either. Create spaces where the team can openly discuss what went wrong, without looking for blame. Project post-mortems, agile retrospectives, or even a simple informal discussion can work wonders. The important thing is that the tone is one of learning, not judgment.
d. Use feedback carefully
Feedback is a powerful tool and should be used carefully. Avoid direct comparisons between colleagues. “You were better than X” is not a compliment, but an invitation to resentment. Instead, provide feedback focused on behaviors and impact. Say what went well, what can be improved, and how it contributes to shared goals.
e. Encourage peer recognition
Not just top-down, but laterally. A team where people observe and appreciate each other is a team that does not need to validate itself through the failure of others. You can introduce simple rituals: recognition minutes in meetings or appreciation messages on Slack.
f. Communicate authentically and transparently
Perhaps the most important thing is to be mindful of your own language as a leader. If you say, “Well, not everyone is like Z,” you have validated the very behavior you want to eliminate. Instead, rephrase. Say, “Z needs some organizational support. Let’s see how we can help him/her.” Tone matters.
g. Focus on shared goals
Shared goals are a great antidote to this dysfunctional dynamic. When success is collective, there is no point in comparing yourself. Create projects that require real collaboration, team KPIs, and evaluation systems that reward contribution, not competition. Instead of “each person brings in 5 leads,” set “team brings in 20 leads, with transparent contributions and mutual support.”
h. Be clear that success means collaboration
Act firmly when you see the dynamic in action. Not with accusation, but with redirection. If someone says, “I did my job, but the others didn’t,” respond with, “I understand that you delivered what was asked of you. Well done! Let’s see how you can contribute to our success together as a team.”
In conclusion
Effective team leadership is not just about setting goals and tracking results. It is about creating a space where people feel safe to make mistakes, learn, and contribute. To feel that their value comes from what they bring, not from what others do not have.
The “I’m good because others make mistakes” dynamic is convenient but damaging. It does not build performance; it builds an illusion of superiority. As a leader, you have the power and responsibility to stop it. Through clarity, recognition, feedback, and shared goals.
Do you want to start today? Then look at the last meeting. What was said? What was implied? What did you unwittingly validate? Then, rephrase. Redefine. Recalibrate. Because a healthy organizational culture is not built on comparisons, but on contributions.
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About Valoria
Valoria is a consulting, training, and executive coaching company. Through our services, we help entrepreneurs to grow their business and make success concrete and predictable. Companies turn to us for marketing, human resources and sales consulting. We often respond to requests for training or coaching of management teams. Competence, trust, innovation and passion are the values we uphold in everything we do. We build long-term partnerships and collaborations, because we offer guaranteed results and the best quality, at the right price. Find out more at: www.valoria.ro.
